First of all, in response to your assertion that the reason why Indian writers (or writers in general) ‘fail at sex writing’ is because they are not ‘sexual beings’. I do not think that a person’s skill at writing a sex scene has got anything to do with how sexual a being he is. If I write a knowledgeable story about skiing, it doesn’t make me a good skier. If I write a particularly evocative story about, say, dancing, it does not make me a good dancer. I could write a perfectly believable story about a chef without ever having made anything edible. And so on.

In response to your second point, that writers shy away from writing about sex because they’re somehow trying to repress it: many writers believe, as the first person who commented on this post said (whose response you called ‘odd’), that sex scenes are not really necessary in a book. If the sex forwards the plot or gives insight into character, then I am all for it. But if it is there just for titillation, then I’d rather not have it because it distracts. As the person said, it is not a question of knowledge or experience or embarrassment. It’s a question of relevance. Some writers believe sex is not relevant to the story they’re telling. Equally some believe it is. To each his own.

Now on to the other points you’ve made in your responses to comments, you say the more open we are with everything, the better it is. Shall we, then, dispense with the clothes we’re wearing? Why do we have to cover ourselves when we all know what’s underneath? Why is nudity a taboo? Shall we all make our sex lives public, since there is nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of? Shall we stop passing our excreta in private and step out into the wide open spaces so that everyone can see us? After all, in your words, “anything that is kept secret and taboo can breed fear” and therefore can be used as a weapon.

The answer, of course, is that there are some things in human societies that are marked ‘private’. And sex is one of them. By all means feel free to talk of sex as openly as you wish, but treat people who don’t share your enthusiasm with respect – respect that I have found lacking both in your post and in your responses.

Take care
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I completely agree with the fact that Indian culture looks at anything sexual as taboo and community is so afraid of this taboo that they will take it to any extent to control any normal human nature. Lying to kids about the birds and the bees… to keeping the two genders separate at a sleep over like animals, men here and women there. In my opinion, All this could be corrected by the right education but that will never happen because when a community can’t even discuss anything related to sexuality, how will they correct it by educating themselves and others and their children. Its much easier for the community to control it and suppress it and that is exactly what they do which in my opinion is very sad.

I know quite a few Indian couples who don’t even discuss their own personal sex life even after being in relationship/marriage for years. I must agree with Ramneek so much that I wouldn’t even be surprised if 50% of the women in India even knows what an orgasm is and ever felt it (specially from their husbands). Even in today’s day, men doesn’t care about women satisfaction and oral sex is being looked at as a dirty deed.

I was born and brought up in India till I was 17 and this suppressed sexuality taboo made such an impact on my life that I look for things to learn and read anything and everything in related to sex and sexuality. And that is how I came across your blog and I am so glad that I did…

I feel sex education in India is absolutely 0. I know of many ladies who did not even know what was to happen when they got married, leave aside being happy with it. And why only women, there are men who do not know it at all, other than just the obvious thing.
I also feel rise in crime related to sex is the effect of ignorance for education. Till date people feel everything happens on its own.
I remember having read “11 minutes”, where Paulo says, “everyone tells now it happened… but what exactly happened, no one cares to tell.”